I will never

I will never be 22 the way I am today,
sitting atop the 242 thinking about streets and life and stories and people
pedalling amidst the traffic past King’s Cross station
buildings, cranes, reaching out to the sky
thinking about happiness which is fleeting
but also the kinds of happiness
that come from the fact that even moments like this
are fleeting

will never ever repeat themself again

Thank you
to you and you and you

Thank you
from the bottom of my heart

And

I am doubling back across the cartographies of our cities
Remembering things that I have lost and found
Stories, revealatory in that glimmer of a moment
And there you were, tracing
Tracing through bookshelves of history
Books and dull leather jackets coated with the age of years
Inheritance of memories loved and lost
Burying your head into the folds of pages
Seeking to remembering and remembering to salvage
what has been gone but still remains

Roots

好想念说华语的感觉,华语的亲切感
好想年在台上表演的那些年

我们,可以吗?

Everyday I just want to be swept away by photographs and the feverish drive to create

Everyday I want to block real life out of my mind and live in the possibilities that language, culture and my imagination create

Can I? Can we?

I have not given up. No, not yet.

I have nothing

I have nothing…

But I have words and stories shored up inside my head
I have carefully ordered images on my Instagram feed
I have intellectual debates on my Facebook profile and
I have carefully liked all the sustainable organisations
with causes that I feel passionately about
I have memories of mountains I have trekked up,
stumbled over, fell on. Cities I have wandered and gotten
lost in.

I have nothing…

A long time ago

A long time ago
when certain words didn’t exist
and pictures of us reflected from a lens
didn’t need to be defined, signified
in popular modernistic vocabulary

A long time ago
when I was happy
without knowing what happiness meant

Wild, hard, sweet

No matter what happens to us — to our children, to our town, to our world — we feel it is still a gift to be human and to have a human life, as long as we ignore the commercials and advertisements and the static that the world beams at us, and understand that we and our children are going to get knocked around, sometimes so cruelly that it will take our breath away. Life can be wild, hard and sweet, but it can also be wild, hard and cruel.

moving mountains

Inspired and touched by all the universalisms that are out there…I wanna see the Himalayas, climb mountains in Sarawak and Borneo, travel more widely in Vietnam, see Indochina in all its beauty.

I have been thinking about life and time and I realised that it is true that everything happens for a reason. There is not a thing that I regret because everything, every obstacle, everything culminates and adds to who you are today.

Best thing I did in 2012 – step out of a relationship with grace, finally got over my issues with my family and emotional baggage, learn about digital art and media and moved closer to ideas of empowerment , thinking about narratives of privilege and power

Best thing I did in 2013 – become physically stronger and more active, gained the autonomy and independence which allowed me to climb Yosemite’s peaks, learnt more about how I wanted to travel. Learnt more Arabic and realised how useful languages were

Best thing I did in 2014 – solo-tripping to Morocco, become more motivated by interactive mediums and technology forms, online journalism in the Sinosphere, moving to London

Every new year is an experience, a learning journey. Bring it on ((((: